Being A Good Leader

Is your dog trying to be the leader? Is he dominant? So many people today are concerned with trying to decide if their dog is being dominant. At the dog park or veterinarian’s office it is not unusual to hear people say things like this,

My dog pushes through the door ahead of me, he must be dominant, right?
My dog jumps on me when I get home, is this dominance?
My dog gets up on the bed when we aren’t home even though he knows he’s not supposed to. Do you think he is asserting his dominance?

You get the idea.

There is also a great deal of discussion these days among dog trainers and well-read pet owners about whether or not dogs view us (humans) as members of their Pack. I think, like people, some dogs want to be in charge more than others and some are happier just to be part of the group. Unless you are afraid of your dog or think he is dangerous, I am not sure any of this really matters. So rather than try to answer these questions, I think we ought to focus on being better leaders. You can call it Pack Leader if you like. What you call it doesn’t matter as long as the humans are in charge.

The behaviors mentioned above do not necessarily indicate that your dog is trying to dominate you. They might mean: your dog is excited and wants to get outside fast, he really likes you and is glad you’re home, and the bed is soft and comfortable. So, we will assume that your dog is NOT trying to dominate you, but that he just might be a teensy tiny bit spoiled and not sure who is in charge!

Being in charge is not about the use of force or punishment. Being a good leader is about taking control in a humane and clear way. The first thing to decide is whether or not you want or need to be a better leader. If all is well in your household and the dogs and people are living peacefully together, you may not need to change a thing. If however, it feels like the dog has taken over your home you may want to consider making some changes.

Since you need to be a good leader to show him that YOU are in charge and that you wish to change or establish some new behaviors, you need to understand what leaders do. What do good leaders do? Well, good leaders control the resources, make the rules the group will live by, and they enforce the rules. The most important thing leaders do however is TEACH others in the group what the rules are. So rather than think about who’s exerting their dominance over whom, let’s start thinking about being clear, strong, kind, but firm, leaders. Let’s set appropriate and clear boundaries.

Let’s TEACH our dogs what behaviors we expect, and reward our dogs when they perform them. Let’s remember that dogs do not speak English. Let’s remember that dogs live their whole lives by the law of cause and effect. So do we, we just don’t think about it much. Think about this: how long would you keep showing up for work if you didn’t get paid? So you will start to pay your dog generously for doing as you ask, rather than giving him all good things for free, AND you will teach him how to give you the behavior that you want.

Here’s how to begin. Make a list of everything that your dog likes. Breakfast, cookies, lunch, going for walks, playing Frisbee, fetching a ball, going out the door, dinner, going for rides in the car, coming in the door, petting, grooming, hot dogs, baby carrots, kisses, you get the idea. Then, put the list on the fridge. Look at it, think about it, add to it as new things occur to you. And then, make your dog start to earn everything on it. You control all the good things (resources) in you dog’s life. Controlling resources is one of the things that leaders do. Why do people covet the key to the executive washroom? Well, you get the idea.

To start with, in order to earn access to anything on the list your dog must sit first. That’s it. You ask, and he sits. Later it will be two Sits, or a Down, or a Rollover or a Stand, or a Shake hands…. anything that the dog has learned to do well. In the beginning, a simple Sit will do. Vary the location. Vary the duration. But ask for a Sit. If he fails to perform, try again. If you have asked for the Sit and the dog stands or lies down, immediately remove your eye contact with the dog. Wait, briefly (1-2 seconds at most), and try again. A dog will sometimes fail twice, but if you are asking for a behavior that the dog knows (and that is only fair), he will rarely fail three times. DON’T give in and feel sorry for your dog. Once he sits, give him his bone, or dinner, or treat, etc.

Here is another example: Maybe your dog wants to go outside. You ask him to Sit at the door. If he does, quickly open the door and let him out. If he fails, take your hand off the doorknob. Wait briefly and try again. In a short period of time, your hand reaching for the doorknob will become a cue for your dog to sit. As he gains experience, you can start to require that he sit until the door is open and he is released.

This approach to training and living with a dog is called “Nothing In Life Is Free” and it has an added bonus. It greatly increases the dog’s motivation to listen to you. If everything in life is free, why work for it? But, if all good things for dogs have to be earned with simple behaviors, the motivation to perform those behaviors goes way up.

Think of it this way. If you were paid on Monday and knew that you would be paid every Monday whether you worked or not, you could not be fired, and your boss said, “Golly, I sure do hope that you will come in and work the rest of the week, but if you don’t, the company says I still have to pay you”, would you work anyway? What influence would your boss have on you if he begged or pleaded with you or if he asked you to come to work over and over and over again? What about if he yelled at you to come to work? How would you feel about going work then? How would you feel about your boss?

We do this kind of thing with our dogs all the time don’t we? They cost us dearly in lost or poor attention as well as a poor response to training in general. In essence our dog ignores us until it suits him not to. We have accidentally taught him to ignore us by giving him all the things he wants without requiring any effort on his part at all.

There are other ways to be a better leader. If your dog is young and he races around the house like the Tasmanian Devil, encourage him to follow you instead. As you move through the house, reward your dog for following. Use kibble or small treats. You can feed breakfast this way. Why put it in the bowl for free? Carry the kibble in your pocket, and dole it out for sticking close by. This doesn’t mean under foot though, just somewhere near your side. This is also a wonderful way to teach heeling. If your dog gets excited or anticipates you, and heads through a doorway first, simply turn around and head in the opposite direction. When your dog catches up again, praise and feed a treat. Same thing applies at the bottom or top of stairways.

If your dog knows his down and sit-stays, practice them every day. Choose a spot that is comfortable for the dog. Do not ask your dog to do a sit-stay on a slippery floor. This is unfair. So, choose a comfortable spot, and sit or down your dog. Meal preparation is a great time for this activity, or during the commercials while you watch T.V. Send the dog to his place, or place him down on a mat. Toss yummy tidbits every few seconds. Say …5-second intervals at first. Increase the time between treats until, EVENTUALLY there is one treat at the end. Go slowly. Do not increase the interval too quickly. Use many rewards at first. If your dog gets up, go place him back down, gently, and start over. Do not yell or punish. Do speak softly and resist the urge to repeat the word down over and over. Simply withhold the reward briefly until he is waiting quietly. Most dogs quickly learn that to keep a steady flow of treats coming their way, they need to stay put. Down and sit-stays are control exercises. The dog learns self control and also that you control the things in life that he wants. This makes you …..THE LEADER.

The appropriate goal is one with a duration that your dog can realistically be expected to accomplish. That means you must be reasonable. It would be unfair to ask an arthritic dog to do long sit stays on a cold floor. Be fair, do a down stay on a comfy bed instead! If you are training a puppy, aim for 20-30 seconds. Understand that even that could take at least several lessons. Remember, you want your dog to succeed. You want him to think you are a kind and benevolent leader. You don’t want him planning to overtake the country because the government is hogging all the goodies.

There are some other things you can do and we will talk about those in another article. In the meantime, try to figure out what makes your dog absolutely crazy. What does your dog absolutely love? Chasing Squirrels in the backyard? Tennis Balls? Walks? Swimming? Squeaky toys? Once you figure it out, USE IT. Figure out what makes him tick, and use it. Just control access to the favorite thing, and make it a reward. Then, reap the benefits. Everybody wins when your dog has learned self-control and you have learned to be the leader!